I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it harder and harder to find NEW jeans that haven’t been “distressed.”

It pisses me off, because I think it’s utter bullshit to pay top dollar for new jeans that have been made to look old or have been “strategically” ripped in the name of so-called fashion.

I don’t care if I sound like an old grump. I’ll take it as a compliment. But “back in MY day,” when you bought a pair of new jeans, they were stiff and itchy, but over the months and years, they would become softer and more comfortable, and yes—FORM FITTING.

Those new jeans EARNED the right to become your favorite old jeans because you WORE them until you wore them out!

When I was a (younger) brat, I remember going to The County Seat at the end of the summer to buy 4-5 pairs of jeans for the upcoming school year. It was fun, because even though they were new denim jeans, so blue that they looked black, you could imagine how they would appear after 100 washes and a summer or two playing softball, tag, and hide-and-seek.

Then the ’80s happened. Acid wash, anyone?

Jeans are overpriced and have been for decades now. I made the meme above when I watched a segment on some cable channel about a jean “designer” whose jeans START at $1000! Listening to them describe how they distress their jeans just made me shake my head in disgust. It’s really sad how we throw away money on “designer” distressed jeans, yet can’t save enough money to buy a home or get out of debt.

And don’t get me started on hip huggers. Is it just me, or are ALL jeans hip huggers now?? I do not have the physique for hip huggers, so why force the issue? It doesn’t seem to matter if I get jeans advertised to be cut for my shape, size, and height, it’s like they ALL have inseams too short so that they barely rise above your hips and cover your crack! Don’t even think about bending over.

So, thank you, jean “designers.” Thanks for giving the world over-priced denim, and your fiendish plot to give the world “Builder’s Bum” has been a success too.

Goldfinger would be proud.

End of rant.